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When the church hurts you, it can cause deep spiritual wounds. Loss of trust in church people and or eventual loss of faith in God.
While it is easier to take the path of walking away from God when you leave a church, you can also find healing. You can even build a stronger relationship with the Lord.
6 Crucial Steps to Healing When the Church Hurts You
It’s worth noting that healing may take a season, depending on your pain and struggles. But be encouraged, you will get there.
1. Reject the temptation to give up on God
The temptation to take your pain and frustration out on God is strong when the church hurts you. But don’t give in to it.
God knows that pain. He wants to walk with you through the healing process. He wants you to see that it was man that hurt you. It was a broken, fleshly man that hurt you. It wasn’t the loving, gracious heavenly Father.
No matter what you do, refuse to give up on God. Through perseverance, you will come out victorious.
Related: 8 Ways You Can Help Those Who Have Been Hurt by the Church
2. Analyze your hurt
It is easier to dwell on the pain without looking at it in the face. That prolongs your grief, hindering a speedy recovery.
Ask yourself: What hurt you? Who hurt you? What went wrong? Where?
This will help you apportion the blame where it belongs. It will help you look at things objectively, instead of through the lens of your pain alone.
If you were hurt by your own expectations or naivety, forgive yourself and move on.
If you were hurt by your pastor or church leadership, you can forgive them and decide on what next to do about staying or leaving the church. See point 6.
3. Forgive those who hurt you
Forgiveness is for you and not necessarily for those who hurt you. Forgive for God’s and your sake.
By forgiving, you make more room in your heart for healing. More room for God.
4. Get help
The effects of church hurt can be spiritual and psychosocial issues bigger than you to handle. It is wise to seek help. Get counselling and support from a more mature and understanding Christian counsellor.
5. Build a stronger relationship with God
Dig into God. This is not always easy for the average Christian, and even more so for someone recovering from church hurt.
But it’s doable. Start spending more time with the Lord. Learn to pour out your heart to Him. He delights in you and is not tired of hearing the details of your pain and struggle.
As you spend more time with the Lord, being transparent and vulnerable with Him, healing will come. It may take a season but hang on. You will get there.
6. Find a healthy church
If you don’t want to go back to the church where you were hurt, it’s fine. Your former church hurt you, but there are also healthy churches with leadership that truly care about the spiritual growth of their members.
You need fellowship with other believers. Pray and trust God to lead you to a church where you can get just that.
Wrapping Up
When the church hurts you, it can leave deep spiritual wounds that cause you to want to give up. But with God’s help, you can heal and grow even stronger in your faith.
May the Lord grant you grace to navigate this season without quitting on Him.
